CK → Over the years I have discovered a number of people that have inspired me to push myself to create better photographs and Becky is one of these people. Her photos would somehow summon my imagination to dark and mysterious place... looking at them, would magically transport my mind to another time and dimension. It has been a real pleasure getting to know Becky through this interview process. I think you'll find that her photos and words will move you in one way or another...

CK

Becky

When and how did you come to discover your passion for photography?

At a young age, I remember a uncle who took photographs of the nieces and nephews using vintage cameras. I seem to recall a makeshift darkroom in his basement too. Though, faintly. I was particularly charmed by the flash for some reason. My neighbor took a liking to cameras as well and remember his Kodak Instamatic and Polaroid's. He shot slide film and every weekend we would spend an evening looking at slides and eating popcorn. Fortunately, I have most of those slides in my possession.

And here we are today and the passion they had then, I now have myself. I've always had some sort of cheap brand 35mm camera on hand to play around with friends and events. Fun stuff. Eventually, that interest soon turned into a passion. While I didn't own any medium format camera, I was given a Sunbeam 620 by my Dad. A camera he held onto since childhood.

In 2002, I bought a Sony digital camera. From there, I played with the idea of shooting something of interest. And on film. Mainly, portraits. I don't have children of my own, so I asked the kids next door to sit for me and the passion grew even more seeing what I was able to do with composition. It was then I discovered a close friend who had that same drive for photography and used what was referred then as toy cameras....and eventually, toycamera.com. I was delighted by what these plastic cameras rendered and I wanted one. And I got myself a Diana F. I have since then purchased many different types of cameras, including a Holga and try to utilize each one today. I have a weakness for black and white film and with the type of work I like to shoot best, it satisfies my craving for the surreal.

CK

Becky

I'm pleased you ended your last question with the word "surreal".
Black and white or not, your photography feels as if it could have come from another time or place. Somewhere maybe in a dream or nightmare. Images that evoke human emotions. Please tell me more about your craving for the surreal and it's effect on your photography.

I remember dreaming in color when I was young, as well as black and white, and a dream I remember most was with myself looking out of a window and seeing black silhouettes of firemen swaying back and forth. Dark figures. I was terrified. And that image, that visual, stuck in my head for a long time. I am a visual person and most of my work now is driven by those sorts of visuals... those dreams...and driven by emotion. I think it is only a matter of time before my work takes on a new direction and becomes even more bizarre...and aggressive because of those visions. That is why using black and white film appeals to me best. It is like documenting moments, tragedy and desires from my life that are etched on slate.

With my photography, I want to be able to recreate activities that occurred in my past. Whether running through the woods, staring up at the sky looking at clouds, playing house and dress up...and some not so cheerful moments. And the only way I can do that is photographing children. So naturally I am drawn to their faces, their eyes and their youth and mainly concentrate on portraitures. It is almost like I am looking at myself, my life, through a lens. A time capsule trapped in and on film.

CK

Becky

What motivates or inspires
your photography?

There is quite a bit that inspires and motivates my work. And I think it has taken on this odd evolution and often times I am left feeling there is no real direction or purpose as a collective. It is difficult to manage one theme as my world and my thoughts are as mixed up as my photographs. In essence, I basically shoot what I feel. Music also fuels my imagination...depression, love, confusion...everything. It is basically how I live through life not really knowing tomorrow, but a precise moment with thought right now and documented. With that said, I don't ever expect my work to be seen in places that require order, theme based, what have you, and that suits me just fine. Sometimes I ask myself just what is it I'm trying to say with my work...what am I really representing here? I don't think it requires a answer and just, is. Dissecting my work as such only leaves me feeling hollow.

CK

Becky

Some people believe that it's quality not quantity that matters most in creating art. But that's not to say that you still have to expose some film/etc. to come up with that "masterpiece." How do you determine what is a "good" photo and what is not?

I tend to not believe in what most think and if that is a rule in photography and art, I'm certainly not going to apply it to mine, as far as quantity over quality are concerned. There is interest in both. I don't do things by the book. Especially with photography and if I'm alone on that level, then so be it. I think from all of the photographs I have taken, only a handful I would consider decent. Not for anyone else but myself. There is this complexity that is photography. Something that is hard for me to comprehend still in determining what is good and what is bad, what is right and what is wrong, I have yet to decipher...from my own work. I feel they all have their place at some point. There are days when I consider one picture really good, and then there are days when I loathe that work. It is a love/hate relationship I have with my own photography.

The word, masterpiece: A work done with extraordinary skill. I have a hard time digesting that sometimes for some reason. Is that applied to experience, process and composition? Well, sure. The great photographers and painters of yesterday, I would consider masterful work. The quality, control, and archival nature then was best represented. Not to say that it is present today. Minus film itself right now, photography has come to be synonymous with the word Photoshop. A blessing and a curse. And there are those who would consider Imaging more masterful than any darkroom technique. Granted, it does take some skill to render images as such, but for me, so does film and printing, and emulsion poured onto paper, delivers a master product. Technically and aesthetically. A process I have yet to explore. So again, I'll refer back to my saying, there is this complexity that is photography.

CK

Becky

Do you have a basic formula, or in your case, a complex formula, to your shooting or do you just shoot from the hip?

Put it this way. I would rather put a black velvet couch in my living room rather than a black leather one. The velvet is just more luxurious and the feel of it is more sensual. Textures is important, though not a rule. Then again, there are those who would think leather is just the opposite. That's how my mind works with most of my photography. There is this sensual nature to my work and with myself. I like things to look and be spectacular. Melodramatic. Beautiful. Sexy. As well as dreadful and gloomy. I cannot seem to shoot pictures like most with toy cameras...or any camera. For example...street photography, still life and the like. Interesting work, but it is something I am not comfortable with, nor attracted to as much. Plus for the fact that I don't get out enough to produce a line of work like such.

I am a dreamer. I fantasize about everything imaginable and I day dream every second of every day and I try to incorporate that daydreaming in my work. Most of my work tends to be posed or placed. But posed or not, it is what I desire most, to set up shots and direct my subjects like a film director on the set or on location. I make the extra effort in finding props suitable for a particular idea...along with clothing. An illusion, a production with placement and angle. I also like to sift through different locations such as the woods, a cellar, even an alley, where I live, and so on. I just like to make myself aware of certain surroundings to help support my composition/subject matter as opposed to a wall with backdrop. Though I have gone that route before and was equally as pleased. Something simple. While having those number of daydreams/ideas and finding it difficult to remember each one. I draw my ideas on paper and bring them along on my photo shoots and try to photograph what is drawn. If I did not do that, I would have zero work. Well, not really...

CK

Becky

I've noticed a little girl showing up your photos from time to time. Can you please tell me about your relationship with this little girl. Has she seen these photos? If so, what does she think seeing herself in these artful photos?

She is my muse. A little girl who has graced most of my work over the last
few years. Along with her brother. It is more of a availability more so than
just finding her as my muse...but with time, she became just that. I have
grown close to her and her brother and they have become my favorite
subjects. She thinks it is really cool to be photographed...she thinks she
is a star. She is. So again, it is just more convenient to shoot them as
they live next door to me. I have this special relationship with both,
especially with her and she trusts me enough to let me push the envelope as
I have in some of my work. She likes that bizarre side of me as she says it
is silly. She takes direction to it so well and is a natural. I hope to have
her around for a long time...even so enough to document her growing up.
Her parents like what I've been able to shoot of her.

Besides them, there are other children I tend to ask to sit for me...older
friends, and so on, that I enjoy photographing just as well. It gives me the
opportunity to widen my horizons and become a better photographer. I am not
nearly anywhere were I want to be and I hope with time, and more experience,
I can be able to come up with some work worthy of exhibition...but it is not
important.

CK

Becky

What about other artists in your life? Who are these artists that have inspired you to create?

I am mainly drawn to the works of photographers, Shelby Lee Adams and
Roger Ballen. To be able to document family life, such as they have, that is far
beyond my reach, but has inspired me to take that route in my own work at
times, and to possibly explore it more someday, somehow and somewhere. It is
not often that I come across unique characters and lifestyles that they both
have encountered and photographed throughout their years. With Adams, who
dedicated a lifetime it appears, and documenting a region of work in his
Kentucky homeland, the people and their existence, where he lives, is
genius. Masterful work. Something I would like to explore hopefully as my
photography matures.

With Ballen, master photographer and visual artist, his documentary work,
his portraits, has appealed to me best. There is this bizarreness with
individuals he is able to find that blows my mind. Along with the ability to
create a set and placing these people, animals and props, I find myself
obsessed with. His ability to focus in on a human presence and allowing
composition to present itself as a art form with texture, shapes and beyond,
provides an impact that really can't be explained. I'm afraid my description
for the two gentleman here does not do any justice whatsoever they deserve.
Their work is just to my liking...

I was once fortunate enough to meet twin girls in a drug store who had
similarities like that of Ballen's most famous work, his Dresie and Casie
male twins....and I begged them for a photograph as I luckily had my Diana
camera in hand. They obliged me and I thought after viewing that photograph,
though minus any real and exciting detail such as the drooling from the
mouth like that of the male twins, the girls had unusual and identical
features somewhat in the face and especially with the ears. They even gave
me their phone number...I have yet to make that call.

CK

Becky

In closing, where do you find yourself and your photography
in five or ten years?

Good question. I have hopes, but I try and concentrate on the moment at
hand...now and today. I would like to possibly explore the opportunity to
develop my own film and print processing and that could very well happen
with the assistance of a older gentleman who I have recently met. He is a
retired writer and photographer for the local newspaper and discovered my
work through a recent image published in B&W Magazine. He contacted
me through the email that was provided and I have been talking with him
ever since.

Like I have said before, I don't look for my work to be presented in some
grand ballroom of sorts, and that is okay, and for as much as that would
make me feel good....I am content with what I have been able to achieve in
the short time I have been using film cameras. The one thing I do wish for
most, is for my twin sister to have that same interest and desire such as I
with photography. I think her and I would really make an impact on the world
and it is too bad she does not see it as such. Until then, I guess a girl
can dream...

Thanks Becky for putting so much of yourself into this interview. I wish you the best, wherever your creative vision takes you.
And I think if you keep creating images like you have been, all you dreams will come true. -Chris

photos © 2007 Rebecca Pendel, reproduced by permission